Scars are the mark of pain. Old wounds. Injuries. The evidence you were hurt.
But injuries and hurts that we carry with us leave their mark, and emotional scars although unseen by outside eyes, can cause real and significant pain. Even years later, those wounds can feel fresh, like they just happened, triggered by new hurts. Living without people we love, loss through death, betrayals of trust, disappointments, hardships, all the hurts.
The Word you need in your Word Jar when you carry scars:
Life Isn’t Easy
Survivor is someone who has endured. Overcome, fought and clawed through adversity. But above all is someone who has survived.
In some ways, we are all survivors. Life isn’t easy. As said in the epic movie The Princess Bride, “Anyone who says differently is selling something.” If we make it through this crazy existence without scars and scrapes, I don’t believe we’ve truly lived.
Mourning our most precious people when they leave or pass away means we loved. Failure means we tried. Devastation means we were once happy. Loss means we once had.
As we survive all of these things, we learn. We grow, and we gain one of the most important Words we can own: Empathy. The Word empathy belongs to survivors. Those who understand. Those who have been through the same pain and suffering.
Not a Victim
The most powerful part of being a survivor? You are no longer a victim. You choose to heal. You choose to overcome. It’s a line that as you cross over you take strength and healing as yours.
A victim sometimes chooses to continue to fixate over the wound, they become stuck and loop around it. They keep it open. They re-open it. They cannot heal. They either don’t want to, or are not capable of healing.
Like the child who stops breathing for a moment when physically hurt, frozen in a silent place of pause and anguish. They stay in a place of suffering trapped and suffocated by it, until the need to take that deep inhale of breath to clear the pain is so strong its all they can do. Figuratively or literally scream, and let it out. Then you are ready to heal.
Being a victim has purpose in protecting your tender heart and soul from further injury. It has it’s place. Pain is a response to stimuli that causes injury. Thus when we put our hand on a hot stove, we immediately pull it back. But it is not meant to be a place we live forever.
How do we become ready? How do we move past injury to a place of healing, to finally become a survivor? Choice.
Choosing to heal through talking to a friend, getting help, counseling, journaling, exercise, or other healthy behaviors and actions gives our bodies and our minds the tools it needs to get there from here. In the beginning of a trauma, or while carrying an extremely heavy load, sometimes we need to cry, to be depressed, to be angry, or mourn.
Burnout or short circuiting can occur when we become overwhelmed or overloaded. Meditation, relaxation, de-stressing, taking the time to put you first is necessary when such severe suffering has occurred.
We often withdraw from others, and our life, when going through particularly hard times. Understandable and totally normal. But it can be taken too far. Psychology Today says that isolation is the worst thing you can do in the recovery from trauma or ongoing stress. Creating connection with your life and those around you is critical to help you move to a better place. The following article offers some very real advice on healing that can help you find some of the Words you need in these moments and struggles. Don’t give up.
Survivors are examples that give us hope. They are a light in a sometimes dark world to those around them. They show us that love and healing can be ours again.
As Destiny’ s child says, “I’m a survivor. I’m not going to give up. I’m gonna work harder, I’m gonna make it.”
Be that light and example to others. Find your healing and strength, claim it as yours. Then show others the way.
What Words do you need to become a survivor? What will you do with the power of words?
Start building your Word Jar today, click here for more information.